Friday, August 21, 2009

Slight of Hand

So, we weren’t really prepared to tell Kenny’s parents about the whole me being pregnant thing on the same day we found out ourselves. As I mentioned, we were in quite a bit of disbelief. I felt like I needed to go to doctor first, get further confirmation, and make sure it was human and in the right spot and all.

Not telling the in-laws should be easy enough, yes? We could just, you know, not say anything, right? That was not the case. A weekend with my in-laws is usually a bit of a workout for the ole liver. We often have an afternoon-watching-the-game drink, a before dinner drink, during dinner drinks, and after dinner drinks. If I didn’t drink, they would know. I knew my mother-in-law watched like a hawk for these sorts of things. When we had visited them a few months earlier I remember her frowning a bit when I accepted her offer of a glass of wine. So Kenny and I developed a plan. He went to pick them up from the train station. I poured a little wine into a glass so that I could pretend I had already been drinking. That would take care of Friday night. For the afternoon drinks, Kenny would make me virgin versions of the cocktails he made for his mom. The difficult part to cover up would be the during meal wine. The solution? Kenny drank for two. It was much like a sitcom. We sat across from each other and put our glasses close to each other. He would casually drink from both. I would put one to my lips every now and then. He seized on opportunities like the arrival of our food to switch the glasses entirely or take giant gulps out of mine. “We” drank on our porch a few times as well. I would carry my glass inside a few times and Kenny would come in and dispose of some (sure I could have poured some out, but we’re not alcohol wasters). Basically, Kenny was drunk all weekend.

I was sure my mother-in-law was suspicious. She commented on how I hadn’t finished one of my drinks and I was sure she was catching on that no alcohol was really going down my throat. To top it off, she brought up the subject of children and parenting a few times. She even talked about how quickly she told people when she found out she was pregnant. Apparently, after she got the results she even told a stranger in the stairway on the way to tell my father-in-law.

Of course the nausea also showed up right away. I had my first puking on Sunday when I saw/smelled Kenny preparing a large slab of raw beef. Luckily, that happened while Kenny’s parents were on a walk with the pups so crisis was once more averted.

We found out later they had no clue. They did have fun figuring out all the signs they had missed later.


Megan's Mom (Susan) said...

Thanks for sharing your hilarious journey of deception---I could hardly stop laughing as I read it out loud to Russ. We hope for many more posts during your pregnancy.

Lindsey said...

Kenny is a saint. A drunken drunk saint :)

Molly said...

brilliant. you guys are going to have a smart kid.

Mary said...

your in-laws sound like FUN people to be with!!!!!!