The telling

Lindsey
Shortly after the second positive pregnancy test, I bargained with Kenny to tell one person. I NEEDED to tell one person. NeeNeeNeeeeeeeded to tell somebody. I didn’t want to tell Megan (for reasons that will be explained later) and couldn’t tell Molly and not Megan. We agreed on Lindsey. Also, she was coming to visit the next week and Kenny is not capable of double drinking enough to pull that one off. Lindsey is like an additional coworker for me. We gchat every day and know most mundane details of each other’s lives. For the hour I tried it, it was killing me to talk to her without telling her about IT . As you might have noticed from the several week gap in Blog posting, it’s really hard to talk about anything else once you know. The first recorded response to the news of our coming child was a series of exclamation points.
me: i peed on a stick this morning and it was a plus sign
Lindsey: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zack and Mike
My brother Zack and his partner Mike came into town about a week after we found out. I picked them up from the airport and on the way Zack mentioned that his ex had asked him if I was pregnant. He asked me if I was and I dodged the question and asked why she thought that. When we got back to our house I told him that I was a little bit pregnant (evidence of my not quite acceptance). I believe Zack said it was “about damn time” and got all excited and all.

Mom
I decided to tell my parents after the first doctor’s appointment. Kenny was in more disbelief and wanted to wait until after the ultrasound to tell his parents. My mom, brother and I had been fighting about whether or not to go on a cruise over Christmas. I did not want to go because I like Christmas and apparently they don’t. I called her and told her that I was not going on the cruise because I was not getting on a boat 8 months pregnant. She immediately screamed, “I’m gonna be a grandma!”

Dad
A few years ago I saw David Sedaris do a reading. I waited in line for two hours to have him sign a book for my dad who is also a fan. I told David who to make it out to and when I got it back it said: “David, Congratulations! Emily is pregnant!” That silly David Sedaris. I mailed it to my dad and he called me in what sounded like heart distress. He said, “What’s this, this, not about?” When I called my dad to tell him I asked if he had read that book lately and suggested that maybe he should. He started to say something and then paused and asked if I was trying to tell him something. I told him that I was carrying his grandfetus and that he was going to be a grandpa. He said we’d have to come up with another name because he was definitely too young to be a grandpa and that just wouldn’t be credible.

Molly and Megan
I didn’t want to tell Megan because she had been trying to do what I had just done for quite some time without success. I was very afraid and contemplated waiting until the next month on the off chance that she’d get pregnant in the meantime. Turns out, I should have done that because that was the month! I was feeling sad though and thought it was due in part because I hadn’t told my Megans and Mollies and that just wasn’t right. I couldn’t possibly be embarking on this whole new phase in my life without telling my girls. So I finally called Megan. I left two voicemails for Molly and she had the nerve to not call me back. I finally texted her: “I’m knocked up. Call me.” TWO HOURS later she called. She loves me. I’m pretty sure she was just away from her phone.

Kenny’s Parents
Kenny called his parents after the ultrasound—after he saw the heartbeat for the first time and had visual proof in his hands. We decided it would be best to call them at work instead of waiting for that night so that we could tell them each individually without one ruining the surprise for the other. Kenny’s mother just kept repeating over and over again, “You’ve made me sooo happy! I love you sooo much!” Kenny’s father screamed. Coworkers came to see if he was okay. He also said, “I didn’t think you guys were ready.” Meaning that he didn’t think that we thought we were—not that he didn’t think we were ready, but it’s funnier if you think of it that way.


After telling our parents, we told them they could tell people--just not to, for instance, put it on Facebook. I thought I was being overly cautious by even feeling I had to mention this to them. The next morning my dad and Kenny's mom both had status messages relating to their approaching grandparent status and my mom had written about it on several people's walls. Ooh, parents. What can you do with them?