Waking up

When I first held Eli in my arms I thought he looked just like Kenny and Yoda. I had no idea how very strange newborns are. At first, it seemed like he couldn't really focus on anything. He was a bit of a robot. He had three states: sleeping, screaming, and the very briefest periods of calm and awake. Born on the small side, he seemed to devote all of his wakeful energy to eating. He would sleep for as long as he wasn't hungry and then wake up screaming--because of course he was hungry. He'd eat just long enough to not be hungry and fall asleep again--repeat cycle. It's funny how its possible to love somebody so much who really doesn't give much in return.

After weeks of 'round the clock eating, he's looking quite plump these days. He's been working on smiling and maybe, just maybe beginning to recognize us. He usually begins the night between us in his sleep positioner. When we got into bed the other night, he looked at me then at Kenny then back and forth. It was like he was taking a headcount and maybe putting the puzzle pieces together. Maybe he's beginning to figure out that we're his people. We've joked that basically he knows us as three people: the milk lady, the daytime diaper changing guy (Kenny with his glasses on) and nightime diaper changing guy (Kenny with his glasses off). Sometimes when Kenny hands him to me he seems to smile (because, yay food!) or maybe he's just opening his mouth to eat. The smiling thing has been much more gradual than I thought it would be. It started with some very quick flashes of smile where you couldn't really tell if he meant to do it or not. He's beginning to do it more frequently to the point where it seems like he's smiling because he's happy about something. We can't really make him smile at this point. Perhaps he just doesn't get our sense of humor.

He's become much more interested in his world. Usually, he just stares at lights. Lately, he's been quite demanding about being carried around to look at things. He can easily stare at this black, white, and red poster we have for several uninterrupted minutes. At around 7 or 8 in the morning, he will cry until given the opportunity to stare at the windows in our bedroom. During the last week he's gotten excited about his rattle (not shaking it for himself or anything, but at least momentarily distracted when we shake it for him).